Here Without You
by Servant of SHEVAL
Summary: A songfic about Vincent regarding his love for Lucrecia, how often he thinks and dreams about her, and the fact that even after her death, her memory never really leaves him. Set to the song 'Here Without You' by Three Doors Down.


Vincent was only dimly aware of having slipped out of his dreams into a different kind of darkness, when he heard a knock on his coffin…

…the group had to stay the night. So, embedded in the darkness of an old bedroom in the mansion, Vincent had idly turned to the spiky-haired blonde, the apparent leader of the party, and asked him what year it was… he was surprised to know the answer.

'Thirty years…' he mused to himself, looking down at his lap. 'Then… one way or another… there's no doubt, Lucrecia's dead.'

_A hundred days have made me older  
__since the last time that I  
__saw your pretty face._

There was so much he never told them about himself… not that they didn't ask, not that he just liked remaining mysterious, though that did tend to train others to cease nagging questions, and useless pressures for answers.

_A thousand lies have made me colder…_

It was a different world outside, much different than the one he remembered. Part of his cryptic style of speech, and silence was simply because he didn't know where he fit anymore… things were foreign to him, and he needed to find a different angle with which to approach them all.

…_and I don't think I can  
__look at this the same._

It was often that he'd linger longer than the others at night, or rise earlier than them in the morning, and look off in the direction of Nibelheim… he didn't know where she was… where she was buried, probably, but that town was the last place he ever saw her… it was as good a memorial as any.

_But all the miles that separate  
__disappear, now, when I'm dreaming of your face._

Sometimes the distance of space and time between them was bridged as he went to sleep… on those rare nights when he wasn't haunted by the nightmares of his demons, on those rare nights when he saw **her**.

But he'd always wake, and she wouldn't be there… those days were spent in an even deeper silence, as his thoughts, and everything brought him right back to her, every time…

_I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still on my lonely mind.  
__I think about you, baby,  
__and I dream about you all the time.  
__I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still with me in my dreams,  
__and tonight, it's only you and me._

Their quest brought them farther and farther away from what he'd regarded as familiar territory, to the last reaches of the world and back. He'd sit on the back rail of the Highwind, and watch the land passing by quickly below him… but at least the company on the ship was friendly.

_The miles just keep rolling,  
__as the people leave their ways  
__to say hello._

He preferred not to think about the hardships he'd faced… they'd all faced. Especially not in those good moments, in transit to the next leg of their journey, when they'd all gather together, and just… relax, if it could be called that…

_I've heard this life is overrated,  
__but I hope that it gets  
__better as we go._

…but even his closest companions, mainly Cloud because of the his compassionate nature as a leader, and Yuffie, simply because she was too annoying to ignore sometimes, couldn't stop his mind from occasionally wandering back to…

_I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still on my lonely mind._

...Lucrecia…

_I think about you, baby,  
__and I dream about you all the time._

As he settled into bed one night, closing his eyes, he opened them again almost immediately, to a long-past, yet familiar sight. He quietly gasped as he saw the moonlight pouring in through the open windows. Lucrecia was next to him in the bed, both he and she were uncovered by the blankets.

She grinned at him, her cheeks almost as pink as her satin nightgown, which reflected the light with a silvery sheen. She reached out for him, and her smooth hand glided down the side of his face. He was getting closer, closer, closer…

Their lips met in the darkness, and he closed his eyes… but the feeling fled away, and he looked up again, finding that he was on his side, back in his coffin… it had only been a dream… one he longed to return to.

_I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still with me in my dreams,_

Determinedly, he flipped to his other side, and screwed his eyes shut. The image came to him again… she was nestled in his arms, and he was stroking her feather-soft hair lovingly, as her hot breath fanned across his bare chest.

There was a cooling in the hot air around them, the condensation of sweat on bare skin, which he could feel touching him all up the length of their bodies…

_and tonight, it's only you and me._

And he awoke again. This time not to the coffin, but to the ceiling of the Highwind. He heard rushing footsteps outside, and got up. There was a call to go.

_Everything I know,  
__and anywhere I go,  
__it gets hard but it won't take away my love._

She was the only thing on his mind when he raised his gun, sending the final bullet speeding towards Hojo.

_And when the last one falls,_

She was the only thing on his mind when he felt Chaos take over, wings sprouting out of his back, and horns pushing their way from his forehead, and the bloody red eyes of a demon turned up to the emerald green of a fallen, one winged angel.

_when it's all said and done,_

He'd killed her son, her husband, and her…

_it gets hard but it won't take away my love._

But she was still the only thing on his mind.

_I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still on my lonely mind.  
__I think about you, baby,  
__and I dream about you all the time.  
__I'm here without you, baby,  
__but you're still with me in my dreams,  
__and tonight, it's only you and me._


End file.
